'It's not all about you...': Maid of Honor Puts Her Life on Hold to Help Plan Best Friends Wedding Only to Be Excluded From Wedding Photos

Author image for Sienna Varady
Sienna Varady
Jan 17, 2024 6:00 PM EST

You should feel proud, happy, and excited when a bride chooses you to be her maid of honor. It essentially suggests that she wouldn't be able to envision her big day without you by her side. But what happens when, somewhere along the way, you start to feel more like a maid and less like a maid of honor?

The story down below is an account of a frustrated maid of honor. Finally engaged, OP's best friend is thrilled about the prospect of marrying the love of her life. However, due to her excitement over the marriage proposal and her desperate desire to remain in control over how everything turns out, the bride has become a total bridezilla. To put it another way, a fairytale turned into a nightmare. Therefore, OP finds herself in a difficult situation where she feels deceived and exploited but still wants to support her friend as she prepares for her big day.

So, if you're curious to find out what happened between the bride and OP, check out the story down below! And when you're done, don't forget to check out the story about a son who uninvited his mother to his wedding!

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  • 01
    My bff got engaged 3 years ago, and she'd always been very particular and demanding about the way things should be, including her choosing the custom ring and when her bf should propose by. The proposal was rushed and the bf didn't make it very romantic and the whole thing was just to check the box.
    via Canva
  • 02
    Controlling Bridezilla Choosing Dresses for Last Minute Wedding
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 03
    I am in need of reality checks here as my bff is planning her wedding and asked me to be her MOH. Admittedly, I am new to wedding environments and courtesies, which also is such a broad spectrum to begin with. I've only been to 2
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 04
    weddings, and this is my first time as part of a bridal party. In short, the bride has been last-minute about every aspect of her wedding journey and is now being very demanding about the bridesmaid dresses.
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 05
    1. what are common expectations about bridesmaid dresses and colors and styles? 2. what are expectations of how the bridesmaids look aesthetically? 3. what are basic expectations around communication about wedding planning
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 06
    Background: My bff got engaged 3 years ago, and she'd always been very particular and demanding about the way things should be, including her choosing the custom ring and when her bf should propose by. The proposal was rushed and the bf didn't make
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 07
    it very romantic and the whole thing was just to check the box. I offered to make reservations at this nice restaurant afterwards for their families and the groom insisted on his choice, which was this very casual grill and bar, not exactly the vibe. They
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 08
    didn't have enough tables to seat everyone together and the food s ked. She later complained about the proposal and how terrible it was. We had attempted to help the bf plan the proposal but all the ideas he had were just not in my friend's wheelhouse. They admitted
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 09
    that they looked at my IG and saw all these posts and wanted the proposal to take place in those spots; however, these were all hiking spots and she's not active or outdoorsy at all. At the end, the bf just chose a random as
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 10
    winery even though she doesn't drink wine. Right after the engagement, my bff wanted to get started on wedding planning instantly and dubbed me her MOH. She had very big plans for a 250+ wedding and cultural ceremony in the morning, and
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 11
    very particular details. (Granted is her right to do so) however, the timeliness she originally held fast too quickly past by and I was also trying to plan out time off from work and keep updated on the date. All plans quickly dissolved and eventually 2.5 years passed by.
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 12
    She was supposed to have the wedding in 2023, and we even went to wedding fairs, and i accompanied her to wedding dress fittings even though a date wasn't set, although she was adamant about it happening by December 2023. She got her dress in March
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 13
    2023. With absolutely NO mention of the wedding whatsoever, months went by with no further planning or discussion. Early conversations for bridesmaid expectations were that she'd pick a color and have the bridesmaids pick their style as it seems that we all have
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 14
    different body types although tbh,I don't even know for formally how many there are. She also said white accessories and flowers would be fine for the bridal party. Fast fwd till November, with no mention of a wedding, it's assumed it's at least summer
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 15
    2024. She then decided she wanted to go to city hall and do the civil service on NYE, and host a reception in 2024. The civil service was basically a mini version of her wedding. She then expected me to have my MOH dress by then, and in a specific pink shade and fabric. I scrambled and
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 16
    stressed especially with the holidays and it was extremely difficult to find a shade of pink that she wanted and they didn't compliment my skin tone at all, and all the websites she sent were foreign ones that took 3.5 weeks shipping. I also wanted something with sleeves as it
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 17
    was freaking winter and raining. When I expressed my frustrations to her about the challenges, she wasn't sympathetic at all and kept directing me to cheap options. I want to look my very best standing next to her and feel comfortable too, and not take away her spotlight either. To
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 18
    put it into perspective, her dress was $5k and bougie as h I and pretty too. I think I deserve some dignity to fit her energy. She also left me on my own to figure out hair and makeup, with no mention of getting ready together, although she said she had one
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 19
    booked for herself. I would have paid for myself, but would have wanted the professional help. I expressed my challenges again, once a pink dress arrived and looked nothing like online and didn't fit at all. I had 0 time to order a new one and couldn't tailor
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 20
    this one. It was unfair because she's had her dress chosen and tailored for the entire year and expects me to pull something out of my a s. She then said, "It doesn't matter what you look like, it's not like you're going to be in the pictures anyways, so wear
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 21
    whatever you want." I felt so hurt!! I have never heard of not being included in pics, let alone her not giving a s t if I looked good or not. So I said that I had a beautiful navy blue dress I wore to a wedding previously in my closet and would wear it if I couldn't find a pink dress in time. I tried to
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 22
    go shopping in person several times up to the day before, but uh newsflash pink isn't a seasonal color and bridal shops won't let you look without an appointment. So I wore the blue dress.
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 23
    Come the day of the civil service, I busted my a s fluffing her dress, carrying all their stuff, with no food, no water, no coffee. I noticed that all the other couples there had no MOH slaving away either - I was the only one doing all this work and dealing with her bridezilla a s. I remembered
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 24
    her comment about the photos and so I didn't offer to be included or want to take any with them, until their photographer pressured me into 2. Otherwise, I stayed out of their shots including the service. To add to it, I suggested that she and her family go to dinner afterwards
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 25
    to celebrate intimately since they couldn't come to the service (and remembering the proposal). The bride had SNAPPED and chewed me out saying that's what the 2024 reception was for and to stop suggesting dinner, so I wasn't
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 26
    planning on anything - until the day of she invited me to dinner. i declined that st (later learned they canceled too). Now she has set a date for the 2024 reception and is back on this MOH dress drama. She won't specify a shade, yet is
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 27
    set on pinks still and we have less than 3 months. One of the bridesmaids told me that the bridezilla acknowledged how lastminute her service was, but that she went dress shopping with me so I should have an idea (insert the NO THE F K YOU DIDN'T). She also claimed that I tried to wear
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 28
    white and she had to shoot me down (talk about delulu - i asked that I'm assuming i should wear a pink shawl, since white is unapproved right?). Just frustrated and i don't even see the point of a bridal party either considering there's no
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 29
    ceremony and the cultural ceremony has a different outfit so what's the point of this dress. The groom doesn't even have groomsmen! I also don't like feeling controlled and pushed around by her into wearing something i don't like, and she had basically chosen what the groom wore
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 30
    head to toe with 0 say from his end. I just feel like this is a very unusual experience as I thought the bridal party would go shopping together or at least so fittings together.
    via u/Smoothie73
  • 31
    localherofan 15 hr. ago Put down your phone and back away slowly. Change your name and move away. Do whatever you have to do to not be involved any more.
    via u/localherofan
  • 32
    LookAcrossTheWater. 15 hr. ago If there's going to be no ceremony and the groom has no groomsmen then it just seems like she's using you as free labor. Tell her you're happy to attend the reception but she can ask
    via u/LookAcrossTheWater
  • 33
    someone else to be her MOH. She sounds really demanding but totally disorganized and doesn't even seem to know what she wants or how to execute it. And if she's spreading lies about you to other people behind your
    via u/LookAcrossTheWater
  • 34
    back, why keep helping her. Just be up front and tell her you don't appreciate her slandering you and that you're done being treated like the help.
    via u/LookAcrossTheWater
  • 35
    MurphyCaper 13 hr. ago Now that the wedding is over, your role as her MOH, has ended. Consequently, you are no longer obligated to frantically run around, doing wedding related things, for her.
    via u/MurphyCaper
  • 36
    To spread lies about you behind your back, she isn't your friend. At this point, she is just using you. Please walk away from her. Good luck
    via u/MurphyCaper
  • 37
    Judge JudyScheindlin · 13 hr. ago Honey, she is treating you badly. Why are you standing by her side? She has no regard for you, she didn't even want you in her pictures. She's actually treating you like her slave and you are
    via u/JudgeJudyScheindlin
  • 38
    allowing it. Time to back out. This is her wedding, let her plan it. Stop trying to help and stop going out of your way to make it easier for her. Stop spending money on her unrealistic expectations and stop letting her disrespect you.
    via u/JudgeJudyScheindlin

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friendship feud loyalty ugly bridesmaid dresses wedding party best friends bridesmaids expectations vs reality friends wedding Party love engagement bridezilla Maid Of Honor
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